Being Tough Or Being Clear
It’s been 4 years now that I’ve begun my journey in Money & You… at times, I look back to see how I got to where I am today. I attribute one of the major factors in my life are the friends that believe in me more than I did in myself, the friends that ask more of me, the friends that shared with me what they got so that I get to clarity.
In my earlier days on the team, I had started out practically groping in the dark… thinking that I’m not good enough, I don’t know what I’m doing… I made so many mistakes like you wouldn’t believe that costs a lot of money, and more costly — relationships. Those were some hard lessons to get.
Life is about the choices that we make, sometimes… they weren’t always the best choices. Somehow, I trusted that no matter what choice I make, its a step closer to my goal… I just learn how to fail fast, learn fast and correct fast.
Here, I’d like to share with you an email that friend of mine had shared with me over 2 years ago… he was one of the first few graduates whom I got to know, and supported me in my journey, encouraged me, and at times gave me a good hard knock when I needed one :).
Billy Syed, on Being Tough or Being Clear…
I got tremendous value from his sharing, and I’m certain, somehow, in some ways… you will too. Thank you Billy for the light that you are in my life.
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Is it true that to be successful in business/work/life you have to be tough? If that is true, does that also mean that if you are not a ‘tough’ person that you will not succeed? I don’t think so. Is there hope for that genuinely nice individual or are they destined to be run over and taken advantage of by those who are supposedly tougher and stronger?
While going into the New Year suggests setting goals, what is equally important is knowing what it takes to turn those goals into reality…
Many years ago, my friend and I were in the teaching business together in weekends. For various reasons, the owner of the company for whom we were training, closed the business. My friend and I were faced with choosing new paths for ourselves. My friend decided to continue pursuing the teaching business, and I had decided to go back into the engineering business.
On a semi-overcast morning, my friend and I were running on the beaches of Sentosa, and I voiced my concerns to him. I told him that the engineering was ruthless and full of challenges. I questioned whether I would be ‘tough’ enough to make it in the business.
I remember that he turned to me as we were huffing and puffing along the sand and said, “Billy, it’s not about being tough….it’s about being clear.”
Those words have stuck with me ever since and have been the source of great strength and great success. Those words allowed me to accomplish what I set out to do without compromising me. In other words, you do not have to be a tough guy. You can, but it’s not required. What you do need to be is clear. Clear on your rules; clear on your objectives; clear on your decisions; and clear on whom you surround yourself with. You must have a Code of Honor that spells out the context of your business, your relationships and your life. Your Code of Honor ensures you remain “clear.”
In all of my working life, I have had to make tough decisions, but I did not always have to be tough. Just clear that it either works or it doesn’t…it either supports the mission and team or it doesn’t…it either operates by the Code or it doesn’t.
When faced with choices, you have to have more than a ‘gut’ feeling in order to make them. Part of the problem is that most people cannot distinguish between their intuition and their emotional reaction.
You have to have clear guidelines or a Code. Does that mean that every decision, choice or action is black and white? Of course not. But it gives you clarity of purpose, intention and direction.
It’s okay to be nice. It’s wonderful to be nurturing and supportive. But if you are not clear…if you are wishy-washy…then you will become part of someone else’s clarity…their direction and their whims.
In your life, be clear on where you are going, what the rules are and how you are going to play. There is a part of you that knows. There is a part of you, that as Jack Nicholson would say, is ‘crystal clear.’ It will lead you to wealth in all parts of your life.
Don’t worry about being tough. Just be clear. You may make mistakes and that’s okay, but be clear that you made them and then correct. Take back the “Power” that you need for the team, the objective, the rewards, the fulfillment at work, the Joy of a fantastic leader…
Another dear friend of mine, Dr Annie Lim shared this with me once… I’M CLEAR also spells… “MIRACLE”
Miracles don’t just happen… they are created!
Wishing you Everyday MIRACLES!
October 25th, 2008 at 8:09 am
Thanks Jacy for a wonderful article.